Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Impact of a street rat

"You are a worthless street rat. You were born a street rat. You will die a street rat. And only your fleas will mourn you." ~Prince Achmed~ From Disney's Aladdin...

Arent those sweet words?...just kidding. You know it seems that sometimes some of the rich and powerful and those sycophants who desire to sponge off them will feel no compulsion, no desire at all to lean down and help someone who is not rich and powerful...just for the sake of helping another human being. And in so doing the rich and powerful miss their opportunity to be truly rich and truly powerful.

These are biting words intended to drive the psyche of their intended target into the ground. Sometimes these words come not from the rich and powerful, but from the minds of those who feel themselves to be "less" than the rich and powerful. Their imagination creates a barrier that inhibits them from seeing the truth...

The truth is that Aladdin made an impact in the lives of many people before he found the Lamp. He made an impact. He was already rich and powerful and just couldnt "see" it because of the barriers his mind had created for him...probably because he was always looking out his bedroom window at someone else's magnificent palace.

I often struggle with thoughts of "what have I done?" What do I leave behind when I step off this world? Have I made an impact? I think on the magnificent...and I miss the truth. I miss the reality.

There are those right now whose lives have been forever changed because of me. Some changed for the worse, Some for the better. Could I do more for others if I were "rich and powerful"? I dont know and I likely will never know. But I do know a few things.
The biblical Joseph surely never saw as he rotted in Pharoah's dungeon that one day he would be second only to Pharoah in all the Land of Egypt. I also know that it is likely that Rechab never dreamed possible that his words would pass down through the generations and in time his children's loyalty to a promise given many years earlier would become the standard by which the great prophet Jeremiah would stand before the people of Israel and preach.

I know something today. I know that a testimony before men stands as a pillar of truth. I know that people. A GOOD name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold.
If I do not see the light of another dawn I know that many will see a testimony in my family in the years that follow...and my family will get to decide if I will be honoured as was Rechab.

Impact...I believe as did Aladdin...I'm not a street rat...and I dont have fleas.

My magic lamp...why I've had one for years. Sometimes I just forget to rub it...Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path...

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Dear Mom...Its Christmas Eve

Dear Mom,

I love you.

It's Christmas Eve. Your favorite night in all the year. I miss you so. I miss your excitement about it all. I'm not enthusiastic about Christmas this year. The spirit just hasnt grabbed me. I know you're probably disappointed with me. It would be different if I could share it with you I'm sure. Being broke all the time doesnt help much. I like watching everyone open presents and well there wont be much of that this least not here.
I'm home alone tonight. Managed to finagle a little time to myself. The children are off to Milano's for singing and yummies. Jean is going to the church for more singing and yummies. So here I am with the cat and the dog, neither of whom are very interested in me tonight.

I've been thinking alot of some bible verses for awhile now...There about Christmas. They are in Luke chapter 2.

And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed. And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:) To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.
And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us. And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger. And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child. And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds. But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.

I guess that to some folks these words dont really mean much, to some they mean more than life itself. To me, they are another point of light and truth...On this night whether it was really sometime in October as some folks say or maybe some other time...but on this night some 2000 odd years ago...the Saviour of the World was born in the flesh to become a live and love, to mourn and celebrate with men this thing, this vapor...this moment in time we call Life. And it was so.

According to the words of the Living God as found in the King James Bible we are told to Fear Not on this day. We are told that the birth of this child was intended to bring great joy...rejoicing if you will...perhaps even celebration. Through it Mom, I noticed that the angels and the heavenly host were praising God worshiping Him and once the shepherds had seen the babe and turned away from the manger...they too were praising and glorifying God for the birth of their Saviour...

Today Mom there are people, believing people who turn away from this celebration of the birth of Christ because they consider it to be "the way of the heathen". I too once struggled with the doctrine which I now know is biblically false...but even more importantly I have my memories of what they would call "the way of the heathen", good memories of Christmas now long past and one just last year for which I am now and always will be grateful.

Those who say December 25th is a pagan holiday...fine...but I sure would like to see the day they actually set aside to celebrate the birth of their Saviour as is the scriptural, biblical of rejoicing and being exceeding glad...

This I know Mom, there is no joy for them and I mourn for them because they wont mourn for themselves.

I love you Mom,

Sunday, December 13, 2009


The eyes of man are never its a wood pellet stove and pellet there anything I cant lay my eyes on and not want...its a good thing I'm broke...cuz if I wasnt I would be now!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


Hebrews 13:5-6 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

Isaiah 55:1-2 Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not? hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness.

Proverbs 27:20 Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied.

Philippians 4:11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

Why can't I just have faith that God is always right? Why am I discouraged for that which I dont have when I have been promised so much? Why is it such a struggle just to be content?

Sunday, December 6, 2009


Dear Mom,
Well, it's Christmastime. Almost anyways. It's been a really rough year this year...well...since you went Home anyway...Ive been pretty lacsidaisical about everything. Nothing really seems to matter much to me...I cant sleep at night anymore, too many thoughts going through my mind...too much coffee too maybe.
I've always been weak on death. Never understanding it. Never getting it. Hardly greiving for those who are gone...but I guess I understand the greiving a bit now. But selfish as I am it seems the greiving is for me...what I have lost.
I suppose you already know this, but I'll tell you cant tell me I'm wrong now can you? Then again you couldn't tell me that when you were here. Anyway, I want you know that I really feel cheated by this whole thing. Easter was such a joy for you...and all the holidays and children's birthday. I gleaned a lot of second-hand joy from vicariouosly watching you celebrate life through those moments.
Then you went and died just before Easter. We had to make our own peanut butter eggs wasnt pretty. Then Jean's birthday and Mine...Then Amber graduated from high-school...and we remembered how excited you were that you were going to see it happen, but you died...and I feel cheated. Amber's and Becca's birthday are past now...and we had our first Thanksgiving without you...and I wept. Now it's almost Christmas and I am lost without you. My 43rd Christmas and my first without you.
I know you see better than I now. I know you get to celebrate while I mourn.
Just so you know...I'm not angry with you, nor am I angry with the Lord. I am a little angry though, but just because I miss you so. I'm kind of mad with our health care system that I think let you die because we had no money. I really believe that if you had been wealthy they could have and would have done alot more to keep you alive. It was evident, easy to see that most of the people in that hospital were there for their paychecks and nothing more.
But you were 80 years old...that's hard to grasp too. My Mom was 80. hmmm. And you'd never really taken very good care of yourself so I mean...everyone has to die, but that seemed so silly that you would get a cold...and die.
Uncle Buzz told me that it was up to me to be the Strength of the family...the binding cord that holds us together as you were, but I'm afraid Mom that I don't have that strength at all.
Aunt Joyce asked the question that I guess we all were wondering..."What are we going to do without you?" What are we going to do without the Cord that held a family in place through the Great Depression, World War II. The Cold War...the Sixties, the hand that drug us all through the 70's and help us jump past Reaganomics through the 90s...without the one whose strength endured and upheld as Dad slipped from our fingers and left you standing weak and frail...and just as stubborn to persevere as ever, maybe even more...
How do I long for those nights this past year when you would stay up and tell me about life when you were a child. How you met Dan your first husband and how you lived through his death. I wish I could have recorded those conversations so that I might have them now to keep me company through these sleepless nights.

Well, gotta go for now Mom,
I love you and I'm sure I'll write again soon,
You favorite son...just kidding Danny! LOL. We all know who the favorite is...Mom had no favorites. She loved us all no matter what happened.
God bless Mom,